One-To-One

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One-To-One by David Helm

What David Helm means by one-to-one is reading a part of the Bible with someone on a regular basis and discussing it. This type of discipleship is needed when churches are chock full of programs that they try to plug people into. Programs are fine, but Helm argues that we are missing something dynamic. He says that we are missing out on the straight forward power of gospel growth by reading the Bible one-to-one. We can’t rely on a program to do that fully.

He gives four benefits to do this which allow for it to be done with non-believers, new believers or mature believers. It could be used for salvation, sanctification, training and relationship building. This type of structure allows for flexibility in meeting with someone and doesn’t rely on a large structure for it to happen.

The examples Helm gives as to why one-to-one is beneficial to growth rather than a program are persuasive. He shows from Scripture how the Word is shown to be the source for salvation and growth. Jesus gave us an example of this as he chose 12 disciples and focused on three of them. He also gives an example of how he did one-to-one with a friend for a year which led to his salvation.

There are two things I appreciated most about Helm’s book. The first is brevity. A book on this type of topic doesn’t need to be long. Helm hits on the important points of why this is needed, who can do it and who it is designed for. The whole book encourages and moves the reader towards carrying out what he is arguing for.

The second appreciation I have for the book is the blue print that Helm lays out for starting a one-to-one. The first part addresses the what, why and how, which lays the foundation for doing one-to-one. The second part builds on that foundation by helping the reader construct a framework for meeting with someone. He gives two simple ways to read the Bible with someone and what parts of the Bible would be most helpful for different kinds of people. The instructions are to the point, practical, and don’t get the reader lost in complication.

With the enormous weight of seminars, conferences, DVD’s, books and sermons that are available in America, having a book like this attest to the simple power of reading the Bible with someone else is needed. It can lift us beyond the blinding maze of being in the forest and help see above the tree tops.

I wonder how my church would change if half of our people committed to do this with someone else? It would be helpful to have a chapter in the book in which Helm would address how to help a church catch the vision for doing something like this. Yet even a cursory reading can give ideas for doing so. Apart from that, I found this book needed, challenging to my soul and very helpful.

A Burglary

I could hear the whirring sound in my brain begin to lessen as the blanket swallowed me up in the soft embrace of the mattress. I had been awake 26 1/2 hours and my brain had been running at 6000 rpms for the last 3 of them. The day had started for me at 7:00AM; Memorial Day. My family had visited the grave of my grandfather at Fort Snelling, followed by a fabulous spread of food at my parents house with the extended family. I was able to grab a thirty minute nap on the way home before starting my 12 hour shift at 6:00PM.

For it being a holiday weekend the night had been slow. As our team approached the last thirty minutes of the shift my anticipation for allowing sleep to wash over me was growing, but that would not happen for another few hours. My partner was dispatched to a suspicious vehicle in a neighborhood. The caller saw an unfamiliar vehicle parked outside her house and two people walking through her yard. I began responding to help him out as well and a minute before I got into the area he said that the two males were running away from him as he pulled up.

A block away from that house was a local bar called The Rustic Inn. The establishment is a local watering hole for all sorts of characters and attracts a large amount of bikers. I had responded to several burglaries  there within the last two years. As I arrived into the neighborhood our dispatch said they had just received an alarm at the bar. I pulled my squad car into the parking lot and noticed three things very quickly: an open door on one side of the building, a broken window on another side, and a safe lying near a dumpster. I waited for another one of my partners to back me and we then entered the building with guns drawn.

I moved through the dining area and into the kitchen. Looking down a long hallway I could see papers and file folders strewn throughout the floor. We cleared the entirety of the building, upstairs and down, not knowing what may be around each corner. It is what a cop lives for in this job. My brain had started the whirring motion as soon as I had made my first observations and I could feel it begin to crescendo as the adrenaline started pulsing through my system. We did not find anyone inside which meant our two suspects had fled on foot. The next phase of the call was to establish a perimeter.

The next twenty minutes were spent trying to make sense of a slew of information. My partner last saw them running east. A neighbor saw them running north. Another neighbor thought he saw one of the suspects run across his yard and into a nearby house. During the initial stages of a dynamic call a lot of information can be bad information, false information or half-truth information. We tried making sense of everything that was getting thrown our way. The crime scene had to be secured, neighbors had to be interviewed for information, other squads had to be coordinated to set up a perimeter for containment, investigations had to be contacted to process the bar and a K9 had to be located to begin the track.

We determined that information about the suspect going into a house was not reliable, and thought the most credible information we had was that they had been last seen running north. A deputy with a K9 arrived from a neighboring county and we quickly gave him the gist of what had happened and where the suspects were last seen. As we were about the begin a track, dispatch advised us that they had received a call from a resident a mile south of our location who had seen two males in dark clothing walking through his backyard. If that information was related to the guys we were trying to find, it would mean they had double-backed from the last point we saw them.

We quickly had all our squads move the perimeter down to where they had last been seen. The day shift had just come on providing us double the amount of cars we would usually have. We got the area locked down within minutes and it was time to let the dog go to work. Within 30 minutes the dog had located them after tracking through thick woods and muddy swamps. The two burglars were soaked in water, caked in dirt and sand, and covered in mosquito bites providing us with a visible sign of street justice.

The two were brothers and had a reputation that proceeded them. They had been involved in numerous burglaries which involved breaking into bars, cutting out safes and leaving before we would be notified about the alarm. Thanks to an alert neighbor, tenacious cops and the nose of a German Shepherd we sent two guys back to jail. One of them had been released just three weeks prior.

Sleep came over me almost instantly as I was ushered into unconsciousness amidst the sweet embrace of victory.

A helpful slap across the face

When I come to the end of my life, I think one of the most influential experiences I’ve had will be the three year discipleship process I’ve had with one of my pastors. This needs further blogging at a latter time. I just finished reading Doug Wilson’s Reforming Marriage, which is the latest book I’ve read in the leadership training at my church. I thank God that he has placed godly men in my life that I can learn from and study with. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson

Doug Wilson is after something big in Reforming Marriage. Each chapter of this book seeks to help stir within the family a biblical love that he defines as keeping God’s commandments with a whole heart. This creates an aroma in the home that is filled with the presence of Jesus and is pleasing to God. The aroma starts with the relationship between the husband and wife and is to be modeled after the way Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25)

Wilson uses this text throughout his book to deal with the issues of headship and authority, the duties of husbands and wives, accountability, and sex among other things.  He also mines tremendous insights from the first marriage (Adam and Eve) in Genesis 2 to provide a biblical picture of what God’s intent for marriage is. He decries the vast amount of marriage books that are chock full of worldly advice and lack biblical teaching. If we are to have healthy marriages we must first seek a healthy maturity in the Lord.

Wilson is intensely biblical in his arguments for what a marriage lived out with gospel-centeredness looks like. He constantly juxtaposes what the Bible says about marriage to what our American culture says marriage should be, and does so without compromise. His ability to articulate the problems in marriages, compare it to God’s design, and provide a road map on how to wander out of the muck, makes the book quite powerful. His experience as a pastor, study of the Bible, and sharp writing serves the reader well. Some sentences have the ability to grab you by the scruff and give a needed slap across the face.

For example, Wilson writes boldly to men by saying he will either lead well in his presence or poorly in his absence. To lead poorly is a rebellion against what God has called him to. He makes this point crystal clear when he draws insights into how God designed the marriage of Adam and Eve. God created Adam to be “defined by the work to which he is called, while she is defined by the man to who she is called (31).” One can almost hear the feminists howl as the sentence is read.

Wilson lays out a theology of marriage but does not fail to dive into the practical application of that theology. Chapter 5 is an intensely helpful chapter which lays out a way in which a husband can climb back on the leadership horse within his marriage and ride confidently in what God has called him to do.

The first half of the book was explicit in its reasoning from one point to the next and covered each topic thoroughly. Chapter 6 left me hoping for more, mainly in the topic of pornography. He spent one paragraph addressing the topic and a half page dealing with adultery, both of which didn’t give ways in which men should battle against those temptations. I found the chapter on divorce difficult to grasp and had to read several times. He did not give specifics on what he means by his three biblical grounds for divorce. For example, if a spouse can divorce because of desertion, what qualifies as desertion? I was left wondering what Wilson’s thoughts were on that.

Nevertheless, minus those problems, the book is gold. This is the first book I’ve read where I thought that I should re-read it on an annual basis. There is much to be mined from it. All men and women within the church would benefit from reading it as the seek to pursue gospel living within their marriages.

Why I am glad number three is on the way

I am thankful for the blessing of having the our third child on the way. Admittedly it was an unexpected blessing, yet I’ve seen God work in unexpected ways to bring about the greatest blessings in my life. Besides the church I go to, this idea is not often embraced. Children are not seen as a blessing but as a distraction from what really brings them happiness.

Doug Wilson writes in Reforming Marriage:

Large families can be a great blessing. So as the Bible makes clear, when we hear about a family with seven children, we have no grounds for rolling our eyes heavenward and making snide comments. ‘Don’t they know what causes this?’ Tragically, such comments are frequently heard, even at church, and from Christians who have been thoroughly compromised by the world’s hostile attitude towards children. They are going to have their allotted 1.7 children, pop the kids into daycare six weeks after birth, and pursue their dual careers. But the Scripture presents a view of children which is entirely antithetical to this.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrow in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; they shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gate. Psalm 127:3-5

I am a happy father of three children. Hopefully more.

Reading as of late

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lit!  by Tony Reinke is superb. The first half of the book is a theology on reading and his insights into literature and the Bible are outstanding. The last half of the book is a practical and helpful guide on how to discern what to read and how to read. The book lends itself as useful to both the accomplished and voracious reader and the tepid, apathetic reader who wants to develop his reading prowess.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Shepherd Leader at Home by Timothy Witmer breaks down the four responsibilities that a man has to his family. He is to know, feed, lead and protect his family as the pastor and leader of it. It is a short, practical, easy to read book on the subject.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kill Shot by Vince Flynn is the second in a prequel to his character, Mitch Rapp. I devoured it in about two weeks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Explicit Gospel by Matt Chandler is a book born out his life experiences. We just finished this in the small group that I lead and I found it quite helpful in articulating and understanding the gospel. It is especially helpful in sharing what the gospel clearly is with people who have had just enough of Jesus to know they don’t want all of him. The last chapter, Moralism and the Cross, is a practical guide to the components of grace-driven effort and helps us understand how free grace and striving for godliness work together.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Good Cops by David Harris lays out the case for why agencies should be driven by preventative policing. He argues that cops should implement intentional strategies which move away from reacting to crime and instead prevent it. The book has large portions of dry statistics backing up his claims peppered with interesting stories from agencies around the country.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Real Marriage by Mark and Grace Driscoll hits a theme that is often missing in marriage books- friendship. The first three chapters of the book bring out the vital need for spouses to be best friends and uses the example or Martin and Katharina Luther as a helpful example. The book lags in some areas, specifically  statistics that go on and on to support their claims. Their interpretation on some verses in the Song of Solomon are thin, but the last chapter is helpful in the nitty gritty planning of life (Reverse Engineering Your Marriage).

Pandemonium

Pandemonium: wild and noisy disorder of confusion; uproar

The call came out as a deceased person as squads began responding to a suicide call that broke over the radio two minutes before my shift officially started. Yet things are never as they first appear, and sixty seconds later our dispatch gave us an update that the person may still be alive. A young man had tried to end his life by hanging himself from a tree. A few inches suspended him between life and death as a loved one looked out the window and saw what was happening. The strap was cut, the man fell to the ground and the emergency call was made.

Spring was coming. The piles of snow were slowly melting causing the dirt roads to be slushy ponds of mud. As my squad car pulled into the scene I put it in park, opened the door and stepped into pandemonium. Two police officers had already arrived and were huddled over the man. The ambulance had arrived just in front of me and I began helping them grab equipment. People had heard the initial scream and come out of their homes to see what was going on. I could hear yelling and crying as I waded through one mud hole after another.

Plastic bags containing sterile medical equipment were being ripped open. Needles were being stuck, an air bug was being pumped, paramedics were giving directions to us, pictures were being taken, witnesses were being gathered and some semblance of organization was trying to be established amidst the pandemonium. Mud stuck to our boots and pants and equipment. My squad car was no longer white but a dark, earthy brown.

A landing zone was set up for the helicopter at a nearby intersection on the dirt road. The man was put on the stretcher, wheeled over to the ambulance and transported to the helicopter. I looked back at the tree before following the ambulance to the landing zone. I saw the strap that had been tied to the branch and the knife laying on the ground used to cut it. Surrounding the knife were the remnants of plastic bags and discarded tubes that had been used to save the man’s life.

Saved. I learned a few weeks later that he had not died. I prayed for him at the time of our efforts to restore life to an ashen face and I prayed at the hearing of his recovery. O God, open his eyes to see that you are stronger than any problem that could push him to the brink of wanting to take his own life.

Domestic Assaults and Emotional Security

Many nights I have found myself pleading with women who have been the victims of domestic assaults to do two things. First, be willing to follow through with pressing charges against the man so that he will face some type of justice through the courts. Even then, often times this is much too lenient when it does happen. Second, make the decision to cut all ties with the man and leave him (I use the word “man” in the physical sense only). These pleas almost always result in failure and I simply wait for the next 911 call a week later. The abuse continues to grow worse.

Why? Why do women subject themselves to this type of treatment day after day? Doug Wilson in his book Reforming Marriage gets to the heart of it. The problem is one of a woman’s need for emotional security. While I am trying to help her get out of physical danger she is only thinking of staying with someone who will provide for her emotional security.

When I was a small boy, our family visited some friends of my parents. When we were driving home, my father mentioned to my mother that their friends were going to have serious problems when their daughter grew older- problems with men. He said this because as soon as he sat down in their home, their young daughter was all over him. Sadly, his prophecy was fulfilled. If a strange man comes into a home and a little girl who is hungry for affection climbs on his lap, something is seriously wrong. The girl has a big vacuum in her life- a need for masculine attention- that is not being filled by her father. When she enters adolescence, she will suddenly discover that she now has a commodity with which she can bargain, and she will be tempted to begin to use it. This is because she still has a need for the security, and a void that still needs to be filled with masculine attention. Now all of a sudden men are voluntarily paying attention to her. Before, as a little girl, she was a nuisance chasing after men, but now they are coming to her. Of course they are after one thing, and she is after another. They consequently make an exchange that makes neither one of them truly happy (95).